Why Austin, TX, the live music capital of the world, doesn’t yet have a bound for Broadway musical about it is beyond me.
And rather than complain, what should any good entrepreneur do? Now seeking writers, producers, and cast!
It’s the story of an upstart “technology entrepreneur” who packs up her Mac, guitar, and a dream of a world that embraces music and technology, and moves from California.
Like Broderick in The Freshman, she loses her laptop and the MVP of her Local Deal app when the taxi she picks up from the airport cons it out of her while grumbling, “Californians all moving here.” No wait! Better, she’s stuck living in the airport because she can’t find a ride into the city. After a week of Airport Salt Lick BBQ – there’s a number there, Licked in Austin by the BBQ – a dashing real estate developer offers a hand and during the hour in traffic getting into the city, he regales her with the promise of a future with high speed rail, queue, A Future Full of Fantastic.
“It’s a future full of fantastic, from aerial gondolas to driverless cars. It’s a future full of fantastic! As we’re all self employed entrepreneurs. Just get off your feet and we’ll bike to Franklin’s to meat (after a long wait on our feet) with this fantastic future of ours!”
Meanwhile, the sinister City Council and a greedy oil prospector from Houston attempt to plow the city under to put up skyscrapers while replacing parking lots with food trucks. Hilarity ensues when our heroine, her dreams crushed by a lack of capital, increasing costs, and no venue for her music, meets a plucky crew comprised of all the right characters: an off the ranch Texan, nicknamed Tex, a hipster with a beard and tight pants, an all natural and gluten free restaurateur, a liquor chemist with a popular new bar called Diluted Drinks, a Angel Investor Dentist from Riverplace, a panhandler, and a social justice warrior, and our second major number sees our crew melancholy but optimistic, Just wait till Tacos Titos Tuesday
“With Tacos and Titos you can take your burritos and stuff your skyscrapers up high! Come Tuesday in Austin brighter days come our way for after the floods, the clouds clear away and we’ll see the sun shine again on Tuesday!”
Our real estate developer friend is there to help and we have a budding romance as he shows her a romantic and funny night out a Peche followed by music in Cedar Street Alley. Cue our celebrity guest performers, The Spazmatics with Cedar Street Fever, a fun remake of the Peggy Lee hit.
“You give me fever. When you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight. Then Cedar Fever in the morning sneezing all through the night.”
But the night ends in calamity when our heroine discovers, when the real estate developer is pulled aside by police because of his Open Carry and leaves his phone on the table buzzing a Slack alert that overtakes her curiosity, that his motives aren’t sincere either! In cahoots with the plans for the city, she loses it, rallies the crew, and they fight on the dance floor of Broken Spoke as a bulldozer approaches.
Like the cast of Newsies bringing down Pulitzer and Hearst, our crew singing The Battle of Burnet, a Luckenbach-style country song, prevail and the crew relishes the victory with California Cowgirl,
“She’s our California Cowgirl with her henna American flag tattoo. She’s our California Cowgirl, with a pickup and great tofu”
…before realizing what the song means and where she’s from, “wait, she’s from California?” “Yeah she bought 5,000 square feet for just herself on Lake Travis,” and demanding she go Back to California, a harmonious round with Jacqueline’s disappointed reply overlapping the crew wanting to Keep Austin…
“Let me go. Far away. Somewhere they won’t ever find me, and tomorrow won’t remind me of today. And the city’s finally sleepin’. And the moon looks old and grey. I get on a train, oh wait no, a plane thats bound for San Jose.”
Our show ends with a differently appreciated reprise of Licked in Austin by the BBQ and the lights fade.
I fully appreciate that I’m going to burn in the Austin hell fires for this
I’m in.
Wow
Even better, you could emulate this San Francisco after school program and enlist children to perform it. One of the best This American Life pieces I have ever heard. https://sfist.com/…/this_american_life_highlights_sf_af.php
“The Freshman” and “Newsies” – very nice.
Ambitious morning you are having ?, sounds like a winner!
Expected a sleazy brogrammer co-founder to seduce her, but maybe that’s the twist!
It’s a good idea… but the tickets are just gonna get more and more expensive to see it (unless we’re seated in the theater next door, perhaps)
You could start with the song “Ain’t no Texan” and end with “You’re Texan Now” once she’s won everyone over.
Uhhhh Austin is the self proclaimed live music capital of the world ….those familiar with the music scenes of NOLA, Nashville, LA, Chicago and NYC may have something to say about Austin’s claim (and so do I … I say “oh Austin, you are so cute”)
I know this is supposed to be a joke but it should be real
Off to a great start, Paul!
VP Boyle
Make it happen!!!
Let me know if you need a choreographer! 😉 I see an awesome line dance scene, as well as some crazy “bikes as props” numbers.
Paul, FYI for you creative thoughts, the longest running broadway musical is actually from Austin! Written, produced and initially performed here in our fair city 🙂
Would love to work on the music for this!!!
The play needs Lance Armstrong
YES. In. Will help write this and have some producers we could call on… off-broadway, but still 🙂
For more inspiration, go see Esther’s Follies on 6th St. 🙂
Daniel Loyd
Raul Adrian Ochoa, Chico Mejia, Joshua Logan Tywater
Very funny. Were you imbibing at all during this creation?
You are a priceless human being and I will watch this musical.
Randol Bass you should compose this!
Sounds like a real-life fairytale…nice pitch!
I’ll fund this
I hear a revival of “Texas has a whore house in it!” Maybe a little Texas Sidestep in it… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6STjaonPEWw
*** Paul O’Brien , see Austin Actors group on FB, post in there.